For If You Disappear Tomorrow, Nobody Will Notice

Yes, this site will be dedicated to the creative hemispheres of my thoughts which means pretentious artsy stuff. Mediocre poetry and prose. But I intend to improve, once I get the time. Update some other time.

Visit My Forum and Register

I've figured out the purpose of this site. It doesn't have an important purpose but now it has a focus but before I get to writing things germane to this newly found purpose, I'd like to introduce you to:

www.tomorrowafterthewar.freeforums.org

Basically a homophobic site where homophobia is not taken seriously and people talk about headphones and music. Very immature and can obliterate my political apsirations. Hope you die.
Thanks. Saturdays suck.

Tomorrow after the War

I fear this blog has gone astray, at least in terms of purpose and meaning. It's lost all its focus and struggling with its own identity. It's got videos, "experiments," musings, amateur "poetry", music downloads, and general randomness. However, even though I haven't updated in a while, I've decided upon one thing. The music part of this blog will serve to spawn a separate blog, hopefully people will seek out this other blog.

So instead of having a mess of shit... I present you:

tomorrowafterthewar.blogspot.com

I will repost the original songs listed on this blog and delete them from A Ghost Loves You.

Get this: Black Box Recorder

Black Box Recorder - The Facts of Life

Download: The Facts of Life

Buy it now!

I made Pennies from the Clay

Anyway, I have not updated this "diary" if you will in quite the span of time. However, in the spirit of academic pursuit, I'd like to make public a little wager of $20 I had with my friend T. Ly. Hopefully this post will not make null my status in the wager.
Perhaps, it is best to relate the context of our situation which pertains to the seminal theory that "procrastination" and "internet" do indeed "make you stupid." Our wager is that we would not use any personal computer for recreational purposes in hopes of enhancing our academic experience by promoting achievement and success. By making this public, I hope we will have some third party bear witness our endeavor. With this in mind, we acknowledge that this wager is personally maintained and relies solely on our honesty with each other.
Much of this abstinence from electronically based recreation is based on the web and the list of sites we hope to ban from our surfing habits are listed below (this is not the entire list as some of these sites only one of us visits/some have overlaps/some we barely ever use at all):



-things I'm still trying to quit-

radioblogclub
last.fm
gamespot
cnet
cnn
stumbleupon
msn
yahoo!
----------------------------------------------
-on the brink of quitting-

yahoo answers
grouphug
battleforums
avgirls.blogspot (NSFW)

----------------------------------------------
-things I plan on returning to after the 2 week period-

javtalk (NSFW)
oink.cd
download
isohut
demonoid
torrentspy
thepiratebay
mediafire
imageshack
torrentreactor
animesuki
boxtorrents
asiandvdclub
amazon
pricegrabber
ebay
metacritic
dvdclub
bitme
bitmetv
torrentleech
bithq
digital hive
bitspider
karagara

----------------------------------------------

-basically quit already or never got into (but will avoid due to possibility of eventual addiction)-

del.lic.ious
latimes
nytimes
digg
reddit
facebook
pitchforkmedia
allmusic
rollingstone
tinymixtapes
maddox
somethingawful
cokemachineglow
spin
ctrlaltdel
explosm
samandfuzzy
youtube
videojug
peekvid
ejb
newgrounds
google video
pennyarcade
clean.scanlover
myspace
flickr
picasa
fanfiction
----------------------------------------------
-exceptions-

meebo
gmail
wikipedia
(most e-mail/school related sites)

My friend has included some other video sharing sites and there are some complex and intricate rules that I will not discuss for the sake of maintaining a sense of brevity of what's going on. I will no longer update blogger until August 3rd or a later date. This will serve as a reminder.

Tangent: Hopefully this will turn out as well as my venture into vegetarianism. At first I tried it out for 2 weeks and it worked just fine. Broke the record and ate plants only for an entire month. Felt fine. This summer I have broken the 1 month record with an astounding 1.5 months of being a vegetarian. Optimistically, this "temporary" abstinence from internet based recreation will be longer lived than the instituted wager. We shall see. (This will show great mental fortitude.)

Please stop trying to have sex with me in public

Most people I know don't realize this but I'm attractive on the molecular level. That's why the ladies are drawn to me oftentimes subconsciously.

Alternate Endings to an Imaginary Film

So it goes,
That nothing ever happens
the same way twice

Only some beauty,
In that the wide ocean
mirrors the sky

Land of Nod,
Some lead sleeps heavy in
those weary eyes

So it goes,
That nothing ever happens
the same way twice

Some means to meaning...
Our Alternate endings
to Imaginary Films

Sometime scripted
in 1917
in black and white

Sky at war,
Violent reflection of
a turbulent sea

Kingdom Hades,
Here lead buries our
fond farewell

Ghosts

So it goes.
So it goes.

Get this: Broken Social Scene

Broken Social Scene - You Forgot it in People

Download: Anthems for a Seventeen Year Old Girl

But it now!

Double Quarters: My 2 Cents on Women (A Guide to Women)

This is what Double Quarters has been working on for the past 2 months. Unfortunately, he had lost some of the my photographs and he is quote "I am so pissed off." The article is still in the editing process. It will take a while but pay attention boys, this guide will get you the "ladies." In a press conference regarding the delays, Double Quarters, reiterates "If you want pussy, you've come to the right place. Read up cos' brother, knowledge is power"
- BitchAzzMotherfucker
Press Secretary

My friends are jealous that I'm straight (draft)

Note: This was an "unintentional post" (was not supposed to be published, I had only discovered my error when a friend commented on it) and hence the draft that is on the title. However, I was on the verge of doing the following anyway so here it is, through a somewhat haphazard appendation, this is my premature introduction to the 'Buy this album now' posting series where an album of such immaculate goodness is posted with little verbal description along with a sample song of exquisite beauty and craftsmanship. It's really worth your $15-20 USD. Let us commence with:

Elliott Smith - Either Or
Download 'Say Yes'

Buy it Now

And She Would Build a Utopia in my Heart

Before I get into being mentally effaced and physically effete from the draconian week of finals, I would like to link to two other blogs of which by the nature of their content seem pertinent to many college students like me. (Note they are blogs from friends of mine.)

http://my.opera.com/Onions_Tomatoes/blog/

and

http://www.xanga.com/lostsoulfire

The first I find uproariously entertaining and the second, admittedly less entertaining but still mildly interesting in an occasional sort of way.

Also, I would like to take this time to ask my minuscule population of readers and encourage them to debate, question, and comment on these posts. How does democracy thrive? Through an informed constituency!
So let us have an intellectual bloodbath on some trivial things. Alas, there lies the pretension of being human. Let us start by asking what separates man from machine? And worse, what separates man from monster?
Ask. Question. Learn.

The Seamstress's Daughter Sleeps Tonight

A Doll House

So let us lift our stormy umbrellas unto the sky
To shade from the fiery pianos strung like marionettes
And hung from some distant ceiling of pillowy cloud

And in a miniature room, by the windowsill watching
Outside where a one legged man stands and on his head is writ
Idyllvine St.

And in a miniature room, besides the lamp posts
With their skinny heads hung low and spirits dim
I will rest easy, I will sleep with this pastoral reticence

This moon, I wait on tiny, yellow, wooden chairs--
Fiery pianos float in the sky,
And a kite dreamer never dies.

Thank God, Nothing Beautiful Died Today

Johnny Cash - Hurt


Rob Dougan - Clubbed to Death


Bob Dylan - Subterranean Homesick Blues


Sufjan Stevens - Concerning the UFO Landing Near Highland Illinois


Wilco - Hummingbird


Sigur Ros - Vaka


Sigur Ros - Hoppipolla


Nine Inch Nails - Closer


Lupe Fiasco - Kick, Push


The Decemberists - 16 Military Wives


Neutral Milk Hotel - In an Aeroplane Over the Sea


Architecture in Helsinki - Like a Call


Beck - Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometimes (Cover)


The Pixies - Where is my Mind?


Eminem - Lose Yourself


Radiohead - Paranoid Android


The Roots - The Seed 2.0


TV on the Radio - Wolf Like Me


The Arcade Fire - Rebellion (Lies)


Outkast - Ms. Jackson


Postal Service - Such Great Heights


David Bowie - Modern Love


Pulp - Disco 2000


Radiohead - High and Dry


Songs: Ohia - Just Be Simple


Radiohead - Fake Plastic Trees


Modest Mouse - Float On


The Smashing Pumpkins - Disarm


Gorillaz - Clint Eastwood


Blur - Song 2


Natalie Merchant - My Skin


Regina Spektor - Samson


Coldplay - Yellow


Blonde Redhead - 23


Futureheads - Hounds of Love


Radiohead - Creep


Clint Mansell - Requiem for a Dream


Regina Spektor - Fidelity


The Notwist - Pick Up the Phone


The Rollingstones - Paint it Black


The Cure - Just Like Heaven


Basement Jaxx - Romeo


Royksopp - Remind Me


Wolf Parade - I'll Believe in Anything


Kanye West - Gold Digger


Led Zeppelin - Immigrant Song


So yes, a little experimentation with video. If the web is the so-called "convergence" of mass media, well let's see about it. Obviously none of this is original material. Just stuff I found on Youtube. I've made a pretty extensive list of some of my favorite songs.

PS: This edit is to warn of both male and female nudity in some of the music videos. Also, there may be some profanity. Refresh the browser, when the audio cuts off sometimes from Youtube.

What's the Difference Between a Woman and a Prostitute Besides the Honesty?

*Title reference

In using the written word as my primary instrument for expression, and using it again and again exhaustively, I fear that I’ve realized something that I have longed denied, the written word by itself is limited in scope. How then can we express ourselves?

What have I used the written word for? Early on, I realized that through exaggeration and extremism and even simply through blunt frankness, humor can be conjured effortlessly. In retrospect, most of my work, in the latter part of my life, has been excess. This was initially, excess with a point. Excess, in this case meant anything and everything. Excessive pseudo- “racism,” “confidence,” “masculinity,” “feminity,” “emotionality,” “sexism,” “narcissisms,” and “misogyny” were all themes that supposedly unified under a singular directive and message: “Get over yourselves people!”

At times, this was used to great effect and I cannot help but be a little guilty because much of this can be said and described as manipulative (but we all are!). Under various guises, my writing possessed an alternate persona—one that reflected little upon myself. This has grown stale and the formula needs something new, either that, or I have to reinvent the persona from ground up. But how so, when my persona lacked style and personality?

The problem ironically, stems precisely from the fact that I never got into myself. How could I get over myself when I was never really into myself in the first place?! There lies the paradoxical epiphany and the statement is made with sincerity. More significantly I realize, I am perhaps the most “impersonal” person, to ever write. Various divagations in my writing distract from my more important thoughts—there is always an ulterior motive. Furthermore, this is aggravated by the use of formality—the language is at times verbose—perhaps alienating some potential readers. More embarrassingly, is that some teenage blogs, xangas, and MySpace are more “personal” in content than I ever will be.

What then is my definition of “personal” language? Personal language, I suppose is anything expressed that can leave the originator of the content vulnerable. Yeah, sure telling you that my favorite color is blue, my favorite drink is soy milk, and my favorite book is The Catcher in the Rye is personal but largely in an inconsequential sort of way— it leaves no vulnerability. Furthermore going around asking questions like “What’s the difference between a woman and a prostitute besides the honesty?” does not really help matters.

So, how about some introspective narcissism? Most of the time, I realize that my writing protects me via a perpetual devolution into pretentious abstract. Where are the concrete revelations?

Let us start. My greatest weakness is one of indecisiveness, there are many things that I am sure of but most of the time I am uncertain. In the past, I have spent and invested great lengths of time and energy to mask this debilitating weakness by doing well in school and staying competitive, courteous, and most of all, reserved. The things that I know I like include music, writing, and thinking. As for people, I’m not sure. I’m quite apathetic when it comes to people. I think this apathy is worse than hatred since hatred shows concern while the former does not. I cherish the few friends I do have and yet it is more important for me to appear to have friends than to actually have them. There must be some shitty Freudian explanation for my downfalls…

I fail. I fail to tell you how I really feel. And I apologize. A friend of mine tells me that I’m “weird.” Another one points out that I’m an “enigma.” In either case, there is some truth to the generalization. However, to be precise, it is my disparate and oftentimes deliberate displacement of the self from my writing persona that creates an ambiguity of identification.

Even now, I'd like to say, ring in the Golden age of "emo-ism".... I hope I approach it with creativity!

Chapter I: Two Runaways Buried in the Snow

To those who died...


Untitled
In youth's tragic fortune passed
That stolen ghost of beautiful lass
Departs forthwith unto a spanless, icy sea
Whilst he battles angels for vestiges of she.

Such prophets of bulbous eye, of searching glass magnifiers
Sight of a hearts' conflagration, heavy in black fires
What medicine prescribed and disease incurred
For only slight strength remains in soul's organ punctured

The boy once believed in consequence and in Jove
Besieged by a cloud of sulfur of mind, thence ushered salty eyes
Her existence denounced; What of Love? he now loathes
And questions spiritless in cruel atheist tongue: why?

Of the petite inequities of life
Why...

What of Artistic Integrity? Where have the virtues of Journalism gone?

Of all the world matters that could have and should have made it to the front page, CNN showcased what can be termed, upon little inspection, journalistic defecation. I have no screenshot to tell but why would Paris Hilton getting 45 days in prison be news of such pertinence and gravity that it deserves front page reverence along with a photo of her celebrity ineptitude is beyond me.

My 'blog' has very little traffic. I'm tired, even exasperated. Academics has been a rude awakening call and most of the time writing has become a sort of solace but that is not to say in desperation, I don't want recognition. Acknowledgment is always encouraging. Perhaps my prose is limp and uninspiring. Whatever the case maybe, I've decided that journalistic integrity is overrated and artistic integrity rendered impractical.

I think I shall post pornography. Right now, I'm just making sure it does not violate Google's Terms of Use Agreement.

Before anyone asks, it's not going to be naked pictures of myself. I prize my dignity enough not to resort to the basest of things, exploitative shock journalism.

I think I shall delete this post. Maybe. Maybe pornography is the way to get traffic these days.


Small Digression
If the sciences which include amongst others physics, chemistry, and biology are the ultimate search for truth then the arts which include amongst others language, painting, music, and sculpture, are the ultimate search for beauty, then what of the bridges in between?
In my years of academia, I've finally realized what these are. Communications, Sociology and Psychology. These are the so-called Social Scientific disciplines. I'm not sure of the Politically Scientific but the Social Scientific disciplines all claim to be science. I respect the arts in that it claims to be art as it should. I revere the sciences, its process and philosophy, however I do not necessarily enjoy its practice. But the social sciences are such pure bullshit in that instead of accepting the fact that they are somewhere in-between, they insist they are science when they are not. In fact, they spend an entire chapter explaining and elaborating on why social science is indeed science. I'm all for overpaid assholes teaching classes (people need jobs and as a pragmatist, I understand people need to make a living) but at least, have the integrity to admit to yourselves, you little scum, that this is not science. It's a "study" albeit a very interesting study. Assholes.

Pictures! (Of Vanity and the Golden Ratio Part II)

I figured this place was getting a bit stale so I added pictures! Hurrah.

Before the plastic surgery (the average male contender):

After the plastic surgery, various improvements made to the chin and nose:
Only through artificial means can we achieve an image that is of impeccable androgyny and alien beauty (in this image, the final touches are made as they surgically remove the eyeglasses from the previous image; the cheeks have been tucked and the lips enhanced for a fuller look):
Before Adobe Photoshop:
After Mad Adobe Photoshop Skills (Rogaine?):
Theme: The Deceptive Effects of Digital Manipulation are presented here in painstaking detail. Don't believe what you see!

A Family Reunion Photo at the Beach 1997:


Only through light and photography are we given the privilege to cherish the most tender moments in life. This is a photo taken during the 2004Li family reunion. There's me (A), the former Chemistry Major and now struggling Microbiology Major. I am the epitome of tragic hero and then there's my self absorbed mother (B) dressed in sky blue and adorned with some pebble necklace. I know she purposely obscures me. After my father died she had been sleeping with my younger brother and my step-sister. My step sister (D) is actually in this picture as well but because she is shy and timid, she may be harder to spot. She is in the distance and was not asked to pose for the photo. She got through college with a porn scholarship. Needless to say, father was proud. My distant cousin (B) from Sweden adorns this photo with her well-shaped ass as she stands with that perfectly formed tush conspicuously distracting from the subject of the photo: me. I asked her once to help me make my babies for me and we haven't spoken ever since and hence the word "distant." The lady in red in the center isn't actually family per se, she's my psycho "now" ex-girlfriend Dakota Fanning (C), who went with us on this particular trip to the Hawaiian Coast. The poor soul was addicted to heroin and sucked dick for quarters.
It's sometimes frustrating to live with a family that's so god damn hot. Due to my social upbringing around people of such immense pulchritude, it is understandable that I have no qualms about incest because frankly, cousins are hot. Hot as hell. It's doesn't matter whether a relationship is platonic or physical, all that matters is that the two consenting parties are in love. These words are cliche only because they ring true.
Of all the family photographs we've taken over the years during various bi-annual family reunions, this one was the best.
For those who don't know due the distracting optical illusion, this is a photograph of a beautiful sea shore.
Wallpaper (seriously don't download this)

On being "Meek," "Puppies," "Squirrels," and "Kittens" (Part 2 of 3 of April 1st)

Meek would never be a word I'd use to describe myself. Furthermore, I would never have expected an answer like that from a question like "What if I had HIV?" When I first read the response, I thought of of squirrels, puppies, and kittens and thought to myself, simple high school mnemonic devices should never be underestimated and yet being uncertain of its precise meaning, I followed Charles Harrington Elster's advice and looked up the word in the lexicon. Meek suggests submissiveness, gentleness, and humility. It's meaning seems innocuous but it's connotation especially within the context is negative. A "meek appearance," she said to me suggests homosexuality and then I realized my friend doesn't really think too highly of me...

But preferably she would have used a better word to suggest this line of logic because meek is supposed to have positive connotations (which is disappointing but I know I have become quite anal with words since I realize that I've been using a lot of them incorrectly myself):

Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
Matthew 11:29 (This is what Jesus said....)

Now the man Moses was very meek, above all the men which were upon the face of the earth.
Numbers 12:3

Even more interesting is that I'm not "meek" but I appear to be; here lies the underpinning political correctness that envelopes today's society. My friend told me her pre-installed gaydar picks up "meekness," from people like me who apparently have a meek disposition. I was dumbfounded but the conversation had developed into talk of my sexuality instead of what I had expected before, which was one of two possible outcomes:
a) my ploy dispatched
b) some sympathy for me (I can now attest this is a cruel world)

What does this say about me? What does this say about her? Well one thing is that her gaydar may not be great as she claimed it to be but definitely her straight-dar is completely out of order. How about all of my virile qualities?

In a more serious light, some obvious conclusions come to mind. My perception of myself is largely different than theirs (my peers). Not only is this a prerequisite to understanding how we view each other within our environments, this maybe a prerequisite to understanding how our world views are developed. This will be a recurrent theme within the experiment (this will be how we shall refer to the April Fool's hoax).
What the experiment does not allow me to observe is any hesitation to answer the question or any recognizable facial reactions and vocal discrepancies that may have occurred if the conversation were not mediated through a chat program. I must recognize and acknowledge these as limitations.
Is she judgmental? Am I feminine? Is she crafty? Am I gullible? Another set of assumptions about one another are generated and reevaluated.

Another friend, this one male, replied in the most pragmatic and neutral manner. He is an engineering major unlike the previous life science major. Again, this is one of the April Fools' set-ups that somehow got mangled by myself. Although the answers he came up with seemed to be cold, aloof, and practical, they were all unintentionally funny. "I will still finish school," he says shortly afterwards and then thinks a little and goes on to say, "he'll find job if he were me, he'd go to Hong Kong and live the rest of his years fighting HIV." I half-suspected that he knew my sinister ploy and was playing along. I thought it sadistic. Either you dispatch my ploy or sympathize with me but this is just sadistic, I thought. This wasn't the case, and the greatest line was this: "I guess I wouldn't have sex with you." I wouldn't either but you're good. Too funny. Expect the unexpected. I realized I had so far overestimated my social predictive capabilities.

What does this say about me? The focus is less on solely "me" at this stage in the game. But instead, the situational context comes onto the foreground and becomes an important focus. It seems, one could justifiably reason in the most obvious manner that sometimes realistic people are simultaneously correct in reasoning and hilarious even if unintentionally so. Most comedians are just telling the truth and oftentimes the truth is funny.

This does however delve into a specific "philosophy" of life model which although only marginally related to the subject at hand, I shall discuss briefly. It is inspirational that a life threatening viral infection such as AIDS does not deter my good friend from his other objectives in life which include amongst others getting a job, getting educated, and simply living. What I had realized about myself is somewhat damning if not pathetically so. I suspected and assumed that if I had HIV, I'd go vacationing and try to "live" life instead of work and toil. It is this idea where one capitulates to a "minor" difficulty and uses this difficulty as a rationalization to fail in the other parts of life. Here lies the contrast: practical reasoning triumphs over feckless hedonism.

Is he a man of principal? Is this why he is successful academically? Perhaps I should edify my personal idea of life and incorporate some of these ideas as my own. And what would you do, reader?

Most of the people I had fooled got riled up. These were mostly men. "You little fucking asshole" was a common response. Admittedly these are normal and even predictable responses. Perhaps this is the manly response and I presume getting gulled into believing something that is untrue shows weakness. Vulnerability is perhaps a societal placed "feminine" trait but is unacceptable for men. And even those that I attempted to fool but failed to generally got riled up to some extent except this aggression was tinted with a sense of pride. One Political Science major who handily dispatched my ploy was particularly invective. He was infused with this sense of overarching pride when my plot had been completely dismantled but another one, an Engineering Major took his time in dismantling my clever ploy. In this particular case, he assumed the importance of his "time" but most importantly, replied with clever, calculated retorts. The replies were intellectually elevated which particularly annoyed me. At least, somewhat. Sleight of hand it seems is unpopular even on a holiday.

It's easy to come up with some generalizations related to this phenomena. We are more alike than we are different. As a male, I could predict these responses but because I focus on these very aspects of the responses, particularly "pride," I guess I too am overcome with a sense of pride when I do succeed in fooling someone. Again, I am angry when I fail to convince people to believe my purposeful ploy.

But what of those who believed me? One female, followed a line of questioning and was skeptically curious and only after I revealed that it was all a hoax, she reflected in disbelief, "How could she be so naive?" (this is paraphrasing) Do I think her stupid? No. Gullible? No. Human? Yes. Perhaps the most beautifully elegant response came from a younger male friend. In summary, his genuine care and shock even was translated to text via instant messenger. He was coming up with options for me to live. Asking if I had told my parents yet. Even consoling me of my situation. Does this suggest that he trusts me as a true friend would? He is academically well off, smart fellow but how could he not detect the lie. Does academics have anything to do with it? Perhaps he was too young?

These questions become unimportant. I realize only the youth had the capacity to sympathize. There was no other soul, whether male of female that could sympathize with someone who had HIV and even though it was a hoax, it helps us ask the most important question of all: what does this say about us as humans? That we live in constant doubt? Or that we don't believe our "friends"? Who are our friends? Is there a correct way to live? I am ambivalent in how I should respond. There is little I could say that would benefit you. But there is a fault with simply believing though, because the innocent who simply believe always lose in the end. I believe the female that believed but used a line of questioning says a lot about the important compromise between humanity and reality. Alternately, even literary allusions to symbolic childhood themes make some connection.

It's April 1st

I suppose we sometimes learn by pure accident. Most accidental knowledge is acquired and agglomerated into some nether region of the mind and quickly labeled common sense. Gumption, I suppose, would be a good word to use.
Some history would aide in understanding my, in retrospect, devious plot. Sometimes I pride myself as a writer and perhaps I am somewhat a wizard in literary legerdemain and so yesterday I set out to fool some acquaintances, some peers, some friends into believing that I had been diagnosed with HIV via the modern convenience of online instant messaging. My ploy was meticulously crafted to sound genuine and though my sample size small, I realized that by the end of the day I had actually convinced 3 persons into sympathizing for my life because of the complications arising from the purportedly life threatening viral infection, while 3 persons caught on quickly and dispatched my ploy, and with 2 persons I mangled up the ploy. Surprisingly no matter the result, there was some insight to be captured. Although everything was set in the spirit of lighthearted frivolity, and the learning experience unintended and hardly expected, the implications that arise from the responses, and even my personal and consequential rebuttals, play off one another to generate a synergistic, yet fractured image of the self as viewed by others and me.
I live by the philosophy that no question is inane however I also believe that some questions are more interesting than others. Interesting questions are the questions that give birth to more interesting questions. Therefore we must continuously ask what are the "right questions"? The right questions are the types of questions that the answerer unwittingly answers truthfully revealing character flaws, personal fears and insecurities, their perception and opinion of say the questioner, and sometimes if you are lucky, their worldview. The question I had asked was inadvertently an implicit question, "What if I had HIV?" It is a simple question and yet it gives rise to many more questions such as "What are the man's ethical and moral values?," "How did this happen?," "What would one do with life abridged" and even more surprisingly, "Is this man gay?" Furthermore if we were to extrapolate, "What do these questions say about us?" and "What do these questions say about them?"
By developing these ideas, we realize this is quite an intricate series of ideas but remember all of these ideas arise by mere fabricated contrivance. I have had the academic even pragmatic response "I'd still finish school", the common sense response "did you wear condoms," and even a telling response... whichever the case, these open ended questions rely on context even though they revolve on a simple idea that a man, even a friend, is suddenly thrusted into a world of nightmarish HIV. We not only learn about ourselves but we get to truly "know" our peers. I do not encourage the use of stratagem but to truly understand what others think and believe underneath the facade, sometimes it is best to ask an indirect question and interpret the response. Ever wonder why big companies like Microsoft ask potential employees bizarre questions in their questionnaire? They want an unadulterated, creative, and perhaps truly honest response. This method is nothing original as many have seen in "Borat," Sascha Cohen takes this "implicitly indirect question" in a literal even physical reality. If he had asked "Are you sexually insecure?" or "Do you feel women are inferior to men?" the answer would certainly have been pre-programmed and politically correct. As for a real life anecdote, I have a friend that utilizes answers.yahoo.com to great effect. Just by saying he sleeps with his cousin, he observes a myriad of responses, all similarly siding with the current social norm.
What if I said, I sexually fantasized about my cousin? She's beautiful and has a tight ass....
I had liberated my writing from what I deem taboo and now, I figure I could just write about anything but still I draw a line. My friend, he doesn't...nothing is taboo and sometimes I fear it gets a bit crazy... too much Borat worship.
Never mind, I digress. I will discuss in greater detail the "reactions" to my false HIV diagnosis next time.

Note to self: draft 1, rewrite required.

if only I were a black, transgender, gay, disfigured, crippled, mentally retarded midget from detroit aka meandering analysis of the insititution & me

Part I (draft)
Sometimes I get the feeling that we’re all just protecting ourselves because that is all there is left to protect. At college (the institution), the competition is stringent and rightfully so as the instructors are particularly discerning in even what constitutes a spectacular student and ‘just’ a good one. Perhaps this microcosm that is the institution is a reflection of the greater and even more depressing reality but per my scruples, may I avoid digressing further as I have already—I have not yet explored sufficiently the world that surrounds me. I am however quite confident that the institution is the vehicle of the so-called “American equality,” not in the sense that it is actually an egalitarian method for creating a single class social structure but in the sense that it gives just about everyone hope and opportunity. Oftentimes I find hope quite the vague concept and ‘America, the land of opportunity’ sickeningly cliché—to understand this equality then, it is crucial that we do not misconstrue it as everyone is also everyone. To clarify, not everyone is equal but most everyone has an equal opportunity and hence the beauty of American social mobility.
Recently a good friend of mine linked me to his blog. Like most adolescents the topics of discussion revolved around friends, interests in girls, rejection from girls, misunderstanding women, angst, but the most recent post of the 6 or 8 posts total held a related discussion on the institution. Now, the blog even with its dearth of posts sufficiently balanced itself with overlong prose, it was also riddled with grammatical and spelling errors and interspersed with gaps of reasoning and logic—needless to say, it was a largely imperfect affair. At the same time, it held in its voice the simple honesty and down-to-earth posture of a best friend speaking to his confidant—if I may, the post is arguably a stream-of-consciousness piece in the truest sense of the term. Perhaps this was why he had made it ‘private’ and limited the amount of users viewing his thoughts—after all we’re all just protecting ourselves these days. Possibly the most ironic twist is that in introspection it is the institution that has most helped hone my skills in manipulating the ever-malleable instrument that is the English language into what is seen here—a veil blanket over a disfigured child of my thoughts. Again, with the cumbersome metaphor, disposable simile, and overly-florid imagery...
After perusing the post, I had come to the conclusion that we had much in common. In the “post,” he called the competition at the institution “fierce.” He also complains in a blunt manner that the instructors here “suck (which I disagree somewhat).” Most importantly, he recognizes that he feels out-of-place. From a purely utilitarian standpoint, it can be assumed to that he too is here only for a chance at elevating himself within the social ladder because all this education and preparation and tests and courses and reading certainly does not help people discover themselves as so many have claimed. Discovering yourself through the educational system rarely occurs if ever and it is just a modest euphemism for, ‘Fuck yes, I had a 4.0 GPA and graduated from an Ivy League. With my degree in Astrophysics, I make millions and get blowjobs during my lunch break from underdeveloped high school chicks.’ Forgive the exaggerated parody, I only hope to illustrate my point—the goal is simple and universal. Generally, everyone is the same, therefore everyone is protecting themselves—their goals and interests. But while I agree with many of his key points, our ideas do eventually diverge. Unlike my friend, I understood that the institution would be a logical and consequently more demanding next step in the educational system so the increased challenge was to be expected. Competition I suppose is actually beneficial in that it creates an environment which catalyzes advancement in the myriad fields contained within any institution. What I did not expect was that I would flounder from its sheer magnitude and that I would not be able to mentally adapt to my newfound context.
On my journey, I have found people like my friend who is similar in predicament as I but I have also found people that succeed at just about every level of the institution. To those people, I would like to express my sincere respect for you and your accomplishments because I know there are many sacrifices that must be made in any process that results in success. To my professors, I express a similar reverence. Although I confess that I make comparisons to between me and others, some purely based on academic performance, these comparisons have little consequence—most of the time, I am just aware and I seldom alter myself because of how others do. What needs to be understood is that my experiences here do not speak for the experiences of others.
In my narcissism I shall revert the focus of the effects of the institution to myself. To further my self-indulgence, I shall say this: I am thoroughly frustrated with the institution but even more so, I am frustrated in my inadequacy, my incompetence. Every time I bemoan these frustrations, the coincident of wishful thinking occurs—I’ll do better next time. Optimism are of parental origin I assume because my parents have never let up hope on me—this I take solace in. Tran, who is a high school friend of mine, occasionally calls me to wish me academic wellness. This I also take solace in. His enthusiastic extroversion regarding the institution is something to behold as is his successes in Cal Poly Pomona. By reasoning with me, he concludes that only by extinguishing my reliance on the internet would I be allowed to potentially succeed in the institution. His admonishments and encouragement are meaningful and logical. Perhaps, my troubles do stem from my reliance on the internet—maybe it is time to acknowledge that I have a chronic addiction to the online contraption but this oversimplification is a misstep in reasoning.
At this junction, please allow me to quote Gnarls Barkley,

“Everybody is somebody but nobody wants to be themselves… Whenever you want to understand yourself, you got to talk to somebody else,”
“Why is this my life? That’s probably everybody’s question… and I’ve tried everything but suicide but yeah it’s crossed my mind”

At this point, I think I’ve reached the coming prelude of nadir because I have sunk low and I only hope to live until I experience a meaningful climax in life. The inclusion of lyrics in this discussion is admittedly jarring but their simplicity beautifully encapsulates the goal of the institution, which is to change ourselves and my having invested more than a year into institution realizes that, for lack of a better word, even within the context of the institution nothing is easy—there are no shortcuts.
They say the soul’s organ lives inside the head—I can hear it swelling it up with uncertainty. It’s easy to lump yourself into the group that had so much potential. There’s the much alluded ‘failure to live up to his potential.’ It must be difficult for anybody to confront that and come to terms with it.
Neither the lyrics nor the lazy moral-of-the-story interlude serve as the topics of discussion however, they do highlight my deterrent psychology.
I realize these are nothing more than scattered ideas and subplots—I’m just trying to be honest like my friend (name withheld). There is a pop song that somehow parallels my frustration. (How embarrassing to have life relayed through a fleeting pop song?) Like most pop songs, it is a song about a broken relationship. The male counterpart is thoroughly frustrated and we hear it from his standpoint. The song is called “The Past is a Grotesque Animal.” How unlikely that a pop song about a heartbreak could somehow relate to my situation—very. My relationship with the institution has been a longstanding one and through most of its course has been fruitful and even rewarding.
(To be continued)

First Installment

Good/Decent/Crap
Good: Of Montreal - Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer
Best Song(s): The Past is a Grotesque Animal, She is a Rejecter
Comments: Kevin Barnes churns out goofy concept album after concept album but with Hissing Fauna it all becomes personal--the album was supposedly the product of his breakup with his wife. For the trivia inclined, the name of the band is also a reference for one of Barnes' failed romances with a lady from Montreal. Incidentally, most of Of Montreals' albums were comprised of songs of short narratives, instead Hissing Fauna relies on an autobiographical approach. The pop-funk is especially rewarding and climaxes at the centerpiece song, The Past is a Grotesque Animal which clocks in at an unwieldy 12 minutes. For pop sensibility's sake, Barnes, word of advice, it would help you don't reference 'Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf," "The Story of the Eye" and use the word parhelion and that's just one song! I literally had to crack open a dictionary. The vocals are bleak with the effective use of contrasting upbeat melodies.
Decent: Patrick Wolf - The Magic Position
Best Song(s): The Stars, The Magic Position, Accident Emergency, Overture
Comments: The Magic Position is a hit-and-miss ordeal. By the second half of the album, the sound seems tired and tedious. Wolf loses his enthusiasm. The great songs are great but the fillers are obvious too.
Crap: The Fray - How to Save a Life
Best Song(s): How to Save a Life
Comments: Perhaps the Fray suffer most from unoriginality. How to Save a Life is perhaps one of the most derivative works to hit record store shelves. It is not a requirement to reinvent music but so many have done this kind of album and done it so much better. The vocals are sufficient and the backing instrumentation also proficient but the result is flat. There is little depth in what the Fray strives to be an album of pop love songs. In fact, much of the songs sound the same that it is difficult to select a 'best song.' Unless the marketing executives are really going to push this, I highly doubt this will ever be popular.
I assure you, I've listened to these thoroughly and to their entirety.
-dwa9 "First Installment"

Vanity and The Golden Ratio

I'm not all about academics per se. I always keep myself busy or rather occupy myself with pet side projects that take too much time. My fare into academics hasn't been the rainbow I hoped it to be as of late but it's coming along, I think.
But you'd be a fool to disregard the epiphanies I've had working away at these pet side projects, they're amazing and hopefully I'd get paid for making such broad social generalizations and stereotypical even-racist assumptions about the world around me.
For example, do you guys ever wonder what's makes an attractive guy? Sure you do! But there's rampant, and blatant homophobia running wild in the contours of our world. Don't want to risk being ostracized by your male peers, or asking the queer dude what's hot and what's not, do you? I have been too and I suppose we men all innately wish we knew what made our opposite wet themselves in between..
And even for chicks, as bizarre as this sounds, you know you are already checking each other's mammaries out as it is. But wait, don't blind yourself with confidence especially from those contrived bullshit quizzes from Cosmo, know how ugly you really are. (or how hot, whichever matters--please don't lie to yourself)
Before I decide to boast on my exemplary achievements in this field, I must say the Rule of the Golden Ratio came to me at the spur of the moment. I mean this wasn't my only stint into scientific absurdity but the empirical evidence is astounding.
Check out the wikipedia article I wrote on my Law. And test yourself.
Also try these. Pic1 Pic2 (Picture of what YOU should be doing)
Dividing your face in 1/3. Divide again and again, measure the standard deviations from God, assuming that God is perfection.
Unfortunately since the Law of the Golden Ratio does not account for how intelligent you are so as a footnote for all those who are incurably dumb, God is the dude with the beard and an interesting history of dying as a dude and coming back to life.
Divide away!
By the way, I ended up with a golden score of 9/10 which I presume is not too shabby.
Update: The research into the the Law of the Golden Ratio is going well. It's applications are numerous and widespread.
As a corollary to finding attractive human beings, the Law of the Golden Ratio could also be applied to say, goats. It's predictive accuracy is currently unchallenged by any other Law we know of.
Is this female goat specimen hot? In 98.3% of the tests, using the method of the Golden Parameter, we predicted correctly which female companion the male goat preferred and subsequently banged the shit out of.
I mean, if you were a goat, you wouldn't want to fuck this piece of shit either.
More to come!

Top 50 Albums 2000-2006

The first decade in the new millenia is more than half over. 4 more years left and that means a lot of music has been released. Albums are a dying breed although music enthusiasts and audiophiles insist on their Compact Discs or better yet, the undeniable superiority of the vinyl--this is the age of the mp3. So I decided to compile a list of some of my favorite albums because the future of the album is tenuous at best.
Sadly, I realize I have overlooked both world music and jazz and "indie" music overwhelmingly dominates this list. I should note I despise the genres of "world" and "indie (which means independent), because the 'labels' make no sense to me. World music is supposedly music, I assume from the 'world' and the world happens to be in Africa and 'indie' simply describes what kind of label a band is signed onto and has nothing to do witht he music stylistically. Before I digress further, I confess, I am not a big fan of world music. As for Jazz, check out Miles Davis.
With so many albums released in the last 6 years, it has been difficult to compile the list and although I've tried to put the albums in a fairly decent 'order,' it is more or less arbitrary.
1-10
Ah the top ten, I'm pretty confident with these ten. These are the must listen albms of the new millenia methinks.
In the 60s, it was Revolver, Pet Sounds, My Aim Is True...
In the 70s, artists Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, David Bowie would take those roles
In the 80s, Michael Jackson's Thriller, Sonic Youth's Daydream Nation, Pixies...
In the 90s, Nirvana, Modest Mouse, Radiohead, My Bloody Valentine, Neutral Milk Hotel...
There's literally tons. Artists like A Tribe Called Quest, Miles Davis, Pulp, Blur, Cocteau Twins, Nine Inch Nails, the Jesus Lizard, Funkadelic, They Might Be Giants, Yo La Tengo, Mogwai, Belle & Sebastian, NWA, Oasis, Bjork, Aphex Twin, The Futureheads, Joy Division, Johnny Cash, Bob Dylan, Depeche Mode, The Clash, The Ramones, old school Greenday and Weezer, Dr. Octagon, Super Furry Animals, Built to Spill, Jimi Hendrix, Dr. Dre, The Shins, The Cure, Alice in chains, John Lennon... it goes on and on. The following albums I'm trying to list, I attempt to make sure are of that quality. They have the quality of 'timelessness'. These are the albums that you got to listen to before you die. (I listed the names of artists that made such albums.)

1. Radiohead - Kid A
There is one thing that I'm sure about this list and that is, Radiohead's Kid A deserves to be number one. After OK Computer set the bar so high, we had all assumed for the worst, they can't possibly beat OK Computer. When Kid A was first released, I prepared myself to be disappointed and I was. Where were the guitars? Where's the rock when there's scarcely any guitars. To a degree, my favorite Radiohead album is still OK Computer but Kid A has grown on me and its effect on music is highly significant. It is the claustrophobia and paranoia wrapped in a tight little package that blows you away. It tops this list and will be one of the most important albums of this decade definitely.
2. The Avalanches - The Avalanches
You take thousands of obscure records and sample them and then you come up with Frontier Psychologist. It's not like it hasn't been done before. We saw it Entroducing but The Avalanches does it with a certain elegance and beauty. This album is good.
3. The Arcade Fire - Funeral
Holy mother. A debut album that blows the shit out of many 'more' established bands. That's right, Arcade Fire's brand of ochestral indie rock is flipping good. It is one of the most powerful, most cathartic, debut albums ever made.
4. The New Pornographers - Mass Romantic
Pop hooks and Neko Case, need I say more?
5. The Notwist - Neon Golden
6. The Flaming Lips - Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots
While Soft Bulletin stood on that one Vaseline song, Yoshimi is more of a four legged creature,it's got way more 'good' songs. Still experimenting with noise and sound, the Lips successful outdo themselves.
7. Jay - Z - The Blueprint
8. Eminem - Marshall Mathers LP
Eminem was Marshall Mathers, Slim Shady and of course, Eminem. He was all three and this was the album that dissected the characters and explored the psychology of 'Eminem.' Admittedly kids love hating this album but seriously, people you try too hard.
9. Wilco - Yankee Hotel Foxtrot
The act of putting synths in country music. Jeff Tweedy is one hell of a songwriter and this album is a pop gem.
10. Sigur Ros - Agaetis Bygrun
I have never heard anything quite like it. Alternately named 'Victory Rose,' Sigur Ros proves that good music is still being made today and Icelandic/Hopelandic are insanely beautiful. They prove once again, there is beauty in the things you don't understand.
11-20

11. The Decemberists - Picaresque
Yes they do sound like Neutral Milk Hotel. Except Colin Meloy, a skilled poet, writes stories without talking about the Holocaust. That helps. Really it helps.
12. The Wrens - Meadowlands
13. The Streets - Original Pirate Material
14. My Morning Jacket - Z
Heralded as America's Radiohead. Whatever happened to Wilco?
15. Explosions in the Sky - Earth is not a Cold Dead Place
Loud-soft atmospherics, this is the post-rock album from the band who did the soundtrack for that one movie.
16. Mastodon - Blood Mountain
Metal. Rocks.
17. Songs Ohia - Magnolia Electric Co
This is Jason Molina's magnum opus. Alt-country at its finest.
18. Godspeed You! Black Emperor - Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas to Heaven
I have no problem with 20 minute songs as long as they're good.
19. Radiohead - Hail to the Thief
Thom Yorke seemed t apologetic when this album was released. It's a throwback to the old "Bends" days, yes but in a good way. He promised us weirder stuff after this album. Hmmm.
20. Andrew Bird - Andrew Bird and the Mysterious of Eggs
Disaffected voice. Check. Funny animal album art. Check. Intricately written lyrics. Check. Whistling. Check. Whistling? What the fuck?
21-30

21. The Go Team - Thunder Lightning Strike
The happiest album out there ever since Polyphonic Spree.
22. The Roots - Phrenology
Smart rap music. Otherwise rap music that relies less on 'samples' and more on real live instruments.
23. Spoon - Gimme Fiction
24. Outkast - Stankonia
Rap music was getting a bit stagnant so two southerners decided to add some more of that funk and dabble in electronica, jazz, amongst other things to create one piece of work. Previously ignored by critics, this album sold like hot cakes.
25. Primal Scream - Exterminator
THIS album is fucking awesome. It's like Kid A but aggressive.
26. Joanna Newsom – Milk Eyed Mender
Milk Eyed Mender is under the newly coined "anti-folk" movement, whatever that means. The album sees Newsom, a classically trained harpist sing in one heck of a quirky, yet endearing voice. This album packed the hooks where Ys packed the pure pretension.
27. And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead – Source Tags & Codes
28. Interpol – Antics
What if Joy Division was still around. Then this is what they would sound like.
29. The Postal Service – Give Up
Mr. Gibbard's Postal Service>Mr. Gibbard's Death Cab for Cutie. Just trying to be controversial.
30. M83 - Dead Cities, Red Seas, and Lost Ghosts
The post-rocking, shoegazing M83 creates anthemic electronic songs with whispered vocals. This is an epic album.
31-40

31. Basement Jaxx – Rooty
32. Stars – Set Yourself on Fire
Stars have continually refined their sound with each subsequent album. Set Yourself on Fire is a leap from 'Heart.' So along with Arcade Fire, are these Canadians really going to save pop music from its inevitable doom? In short no. Kangaroos will.
33. Sigur Ros – Takk
Songs that actually clock in under 7 minutes, this is an achievement for Sigur Ros. Although this was not a revolutionary departure from their groundbreaking Agaetis Bygrun, the album packs uplifting and hopeful melodies where Agaetis was a mournful dirge on a CD.
34. Cursive – The Ugly Organ
35. Kanye West – The College Dropout
36. The Strokes – Room on Fire
The Strokes wanted to be popular and 'different.' Somehow Room on Fire managed to be that.
37. The New Pornographers – Twin Cinema
38. Wolf Parade – Apologies to the Queen Mary
Spencer Krug sounds like Modest Mouse meets Arcade Fire except not.
39. Sufjan Stevens – Illinoise
I always thought that I would never get into 'Christian' rock and although Sufjan doesn't claim to be a 'Christian' rock band, the fact he's a devout Christian has its influences on his music. Folk meets pop meets twee meets overlong titles for songs. The formula never fails.
40. Madvillain - Madvillainy
These are the meanest villains on the streets. The dream collaboration between Madlib and MF Doom, this is rap like never before. Enough said.

41-50

41. TV on the Radio – Young Liars EP
42. Bright Eyes – I'm Wide Awake and It's Morning
Conor Oberst folkish outing of an album strung up heartfelt one-liners to create one of the most beautiful 'emo' albums. The man sings as if he's on the verge of tears.
43. Kanye West – Late Registration
44. The New Pornographers – Electric Version
45. British Sea Power – The Decline of British Sea Power
Brit-pop rocks out about "nature." Hmmm. Surprisingly the results are superb. Watch out for "Carrion."
46. The Unicorns – Who Will cut Our Hair When We're Gone
Nick Diamond and his fellow bandmates attempts to construct the perfect, pop gem. Full of indie rock cliche including the lo-fi production, the the distorted vocals, and an overall playful demeanor--what Nick achieves is one of hell of a fun ride. Quirky pop gems fit the bill more precisely though.
47. Queens of the Stone Age – Songs for the Deaf
48. Four Tet – Pause
49. Aimee Mann- Bachelor No. 2
50. Coldplay - Parachutes
Sure, A Rush of Blood to the Head was better but this is where it all began. Besides, 'Rush' was just an expansion on an already established sound. Coldplay strive to become the next U2, this album shows that they have the potential.

Underrated/Honorabe Mentions
Mostly albums that I couldn't fit in the top 50.

1. Gorillaz - Demon Days
Sure the only good song was 'Feel Good Inc.' No that wasn't it. People wanted Blur so badly that they couldn't see that this album was actually pretty darn good.
2. Architecture in Helsinki - Fingers Crossed
Another pop gem. The lead sings in a feminine whisper falsetto or something like that. Utilizing a bunch of quirky instruments, Architecture manage to make a beautiful pop album that is oh so very twee.
3. The Pernice Brothers - Yours, Mine, Ours
It's always hard to recommend pop albums especially since most pop goes on a formula. Pernice Brothers is on formula. But they do it so well, we forgive them.
4. System of a Down - Mesmerize
Fans cried foul. Dumb as hell lyrics. But that was precisely why it was genius other then the cool ass drumming and guitar playing.
5. Midlake - The Trials of Van Occupanther
6. My Chemical Romance - The Black Parade
Just because people lump them into the 'emo' genre doesn't mean this album doesn't merit a look. Not too bad. I was surprised.
7. Regina Spektor - Begin to Hope
8. Delgados - Universal Audio
9. Modest Mouse - Good News for People who Love Bad News
The 'selling out' album. Stupid Indie kids. Sure it will never top The Moon and Antartica or the Lonesome Crowded West... but this album was full of freaking good songs like Float On and Bukowski to name a few. Besides Mr. Brock ripped the Pixies sound and tweaked it to something else and this album is the culmination of all that tweaking. Heh.
10. Bob Dylan – Modern Times
11. the decemberist – crane wife
12. Tenacious D – Tenacious D
Funny. Very funny. Jack Black.
13. Elliott Smith – From a Basement on the Hill
14. U2 – All that You Can't Leave Behind
Yes U2 has been going downhill and I guess this must have been overlooked or something because this album was no fluke. It's good. Sure it mines the same old sound but it's good. Like Bono with stupid goggles good.
15. Iron & Wine - The Creek Drank the Cradle
16. The Hives - Veni Vidi Vicious
17. Broken Social Scene - You Forgot it In People

Worst/Most Overrated
I'm going to skip discussing Kevin Federline, Black Eyed Peas, Keane, Jet, Paris Hilton, Evanescence, Nickleback, Linkin Park... because that would be too easy.
1. Bloc Party - Silent alarm
Overrated
2. the Artic Monkeys - whatever people say I am, that's what I'm not
Terribly overrated. Damn blokes
3. Joanna Newsom - Ys
Just because it sounds like shit doesn't make it avante-garde folks.
4. U2 - How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb
After Achtung Baby, we enter a phase now termed the downward spiral.
5. Red Hot Chil Peppers - Stadium Arcadium
Terribly disappointing
6. The Who - Endless Wire
Also suffering from terminal my band is too old to rock syndrome
7. Clap Your Hands and say Yeah - Clap Your Hands and Say Yeah
Not bad. Cool voice even though this kind of voice would get you thrown off american idol (not that it really matters). But yes, overrated.
8. Radiohead - Amnesiac
Radiohead's second biggest blunder. Well first blunder actually. Pablo Honey was not up to par mostly because they were starting out but Amnesiac is like Kid B, the b-sides that sucked. Still better than most albums out there but not Radiohead good.
9. Art Brut - Bang Bang Rock and Roll
Are you sure this is music?

I always cry at endings.*

*Belle and Sebastian If you're feeling Sinister

-The Test and the Beginning-

Greetings from Life on Earth
by: dwa9


Here again, we're down and empty in war-torn District 13--Cyberpunk City
It's pitch black and the stars are out and there's a congregation of faces veiled in clouds of dust
These magician's clouds appear with faces hidden, plastered on walls of infamous villainy
If it's the cathode ray tubes that shone a light and framed the wanted--I've the unwanted

Only in legends and only there did heroes reside--we've got every fake and phony
So we're led down twin boulevards of different names and spellings, in parade. Charade!
Into a corner of black, musky odor--the corridor and vagrant's refuge only to find a cul de sac
And alleyways studded with shut doors and wane glowing--nothing but faces in clouds of dust

Praise and adulation rained upon this free nation, ruled by chosen lords wearing tidy neckties
Ever pleased to meet the killers with viper's eyes, shimmering behind warm tidy collars
Them murderers walk in line; suave, sly, saunter--their knives are arcing and kissers smiling
I was running past clubs and cabarets, along droves of ghost car trolleys, running only to stop

Look up only to be lost in walls and walls of buildings, architecture, & streets-murals of sky & air
I'm the surrealist. I'm the upstanding citizen with some pocket change and an expensive cigar
It's a ghost town down here--But need no despair, the monolith at the center carries the moon
A candle stands in the skyline and its light points in the direction of stolen cars, follow!

Whilst I thought I was on my way and the papers I held spontaneous combust, burnt to lint
Senseless, it's information and data and information and data and data and--brilliance!
Storyteller tells history in a tale of mice in a maze, well-groomed and wearing white lab coats.
I'm deaf. Experimental. Test tube bottle rocket, case study: a hooker getting fucked in the ear.

But time is unrelenting and past. I do not doubt my dreary days that passed me one October
On through my doleful December next. I pull my red baseball cap down to hide my weary eyes
My salty eyes, I'll not cry as long as I can still see, mother--I'm convinced & eyes I'll deceive
They're sweating, mother and in the cold. I'm afraid as long as I can still see, mother.

So all those who've survived: street musicians, fools and fugitives walking by
Wearing them old, shriveled, black plastic bags over those silly little heads; always murmuring
My heart is marching slow and marching with the fellow cadavers drifting in black disguise
Holding steady, hand in hand with her dead Siamese twin who died in alabaster youth & beauty-

Answer me, dear Siamese friend as we wait besides the engine's long tired road,
Smile for me, with sweet cotton candy melting against his Rosy cheeks atop his snow white skin
So I dressed him in winter clothes--he giggles and smiles with his lovely, ghost face
Why leave our secrets hidden & in between-hidden in beautiful broken hands, in tiny fingernails

I pull my red baseball cap down to hide--If I cannot see you, you cannot see me
And walked on over to join the lonely folk who stood in long, perfect straight lines waiting
Like sweet Jewish families in 1945 with brothers and sisters and a father and mother too
A chain that linked over a wide expanse--a wonderful snowy landscape of slopes and hills

That's what I see papa, that's what I see in that little city trapped inside an eternal winter
In that tiny snow globe--papa did not answer, he slept with his pipe on his red scarf
On a park bench, he slept with his mouth agape, like an infant with fat, silly fingers.
He slept, with clouds over and up shielding the sun and prophesies after death.

We had our promises pen-scratched and wrapped in our sweaty palms.
Promises carved into the hearts of trees--the ones kept inside pockets so deep.
They were skin-mapped with tiny bridges and narrow roads; all besides little rivers
Only a fool wears red in winter, stands idly and kicks repeatedly at his own feet.

Childhood friend, I know. She's the one that's got paperclips in her bosom--holding us back
Come meet me alone by the sea, at the foot of magnificent Pharos: the lost lighthouse
Here it is, atop a wind-swept cliff; the last outpost of man shines like a beacon forever
Pay close attention and listen, as the stone monolith gives in and simmers its final flicker

I hold my right index like a single candle to the tip of my nose as if to caution my lips
And then whisper to think: I will make her my sweet, lovely mistress dressed in ribbons
She will be my young bride, mother with child and we shall live under the sheets--
Far away from the scary monsters living in darkness and underneath our beds

In God's tower, He holds the bloody sun on one and the starless moon on the other
He is the watcher and observer. He is arbiter resigned. He is my lover and confidant
Read this letter to the well-loved, well-meaning, well-to-do, well-wishers
Tell them ghosts, demons, and devils--do not disturb our naked soul-less bones

And so finally I've disappeared-a solitary signpost remains holding tenuous its' red flag
Hello my old friend holding hands with foolish ghosts, smiling demons and mischievous devils
A hearty laugh escapes along with a heavy pat, pardon necrophilia's momentary sin of a kiss
Lovers need no apologies and she's waiting and gone--we've both missed the engine's call

(Last Edited:12/27/2006)