Vanity and The Golden Ratio

I'm not all about academics per se. I always keep myself busy or rather occupy myself with pet side projects that take too much time. My fare into academics hasn't been the rainbow I hoped it to be as of late but it's coming along, I think.
But you'd be a fool to disregard the epiphanies I've had working away at these pet side projects, they're amazing and hopefully I'd get paid for making such broad social generalizations and stereotypical even-racist assumptions about the world around me.
For example, do you guys ever wonder what's makes an attractive guy? Sure you do! But there's rampant, and blatant homophobia running wild in the contours of our world. Don't want to risk being ostracized by your male peers, or asking the queer dude what's hot and what's not, do you? I have been too and I suppose we men all innately wish we knew what made our opposite wet themselves in between..
And even for chicks, as bizarre as this sounds, you know you are already checking each other's mammaries out as it is. But wait, don't blind yourself with confidence especially from those contrived bullshit quizzes from Cosmo, know how ugly you really are. (or how hot, whichever matters--please don't lie to yourself)
Before I decide to boast on my exemplary achievements in this field, I must say the Rule of the Golden Ratio came to me at the spur of the moment. I mean this wasn't my only stint into scientific absurdity but the empirical evidence is astounding.
Check out the wikipedia article I wrote on my Law. And test yourself.
Also try these. Pic1 Pic2 (Picture of what YOU should be doing)
Dividing your face in 1/3. Divide again and again, measure the standard deviations from God, assuming that God is perfection.
Unfortunately since the Law of the Golden Ratio does not account for how intelligent you are so as a footnote for all those who are incurably dumb, God is the dude with the beard and an interesting history of dying as a dude and coming back to life.
Divide away!
By the way, I ended up with a golden score of 9/10 which I presume is not too shabby.
Update: The research into the the Law of the Golden Ratio is going well. It's applications are numerous and widespread.
As a corollary to finding attractive human beings, the Law of the Golden Ratio could also be applied to say, goats. It's predictive accuracy is currently unchallenged by any other Law we know of.
Is this female goat specimen hot? In 98.3% of the tests, using the method of the Golden Parameter, we predicted correctly which female companion the male goat preferred and subsequently banged the shit out of.
I mean, if you were a goat, you wouldn't want to fuck this piece of shit either.
More to come!